Yesterday I declared that I’m a mess, and it’s true. Most areas of my life are in some form of disarray or uncertainty, and freak outs and meltdowns have become fairly common.
However, I’m much more than a mess.
Not because of anything I do, however.
My own capabilities qualify me primarily, and perhaps only, to be a mess right now.
But I’m not. I don’t walk around continually crying or ranting about how I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I can truthfully say that most (though not all) of the time, I’m fairly content in each moment; only sometimes do all my doubts and uncertainties reduce me to freak out or meltdown mode.
The only way I can credit this is to grace. Only through God’s grace am I able to maintain some sort of perspective on my life, some sort of healthy hope in the future and whatever may come.
Because God doesn’t look at me and see a mess.
He looks at me with love, compassion, and caring.
He sees someone who matters.
He sees a life ripe with potential.
He sees plans for loveliness.
He sees a child who belongs to him.
He sees much better things in me than I see in myself.
I can proclaim my mess, be honest about it, and share the reality of it with others. But I am not stuck in my mess. I am much more than my mess.
And for that, I am incredibly grateful.
Til next time…
~Brianna!~
The Art of Becoming 
So happy to read this follow up to your previous post 🙂 Our message at church on Sunday was all about hope. Our Pastor always likes to tell us, “When the rest of the world is telling you not to get your hopes up, God is telling you- get your hopes up!” I love that. I know I’ve said this in other comments I’ve left but you are not alone Brianna! And gosh, I am sure thankful for hope and grace because I too am a mess. And you know, even if I was exactly where I thought I would be at 27 (living in a cute little home, married, working at my dream job, maybe a kid or two… MAAAAYBE- I’ve never been a big fan of diapers, lol) I am positive my life would still feel messy. So I think what I’ve gleaned from these last two posts is that life is messy!
I looooove this scene in the movie Letters to Juliet (just in case you haven’t seen it, its all about a writer who helps a woman find her long lost love/ with the reluctant help of the woman’s gorgeous grandson *I’m a sucker for Bristish guy, haha, soooo….) and her grandson says, “Gram, wouldn’t you just like to find out where he is and skip all the messy bits?” To which she laughs and replies, “Life is the messy bits.”
Ever since I stumbled upon your blog I have remembered you in my prayers. Again, I’m thankful to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way or that way and that I am not the only one who is living at home, working a part time job, with not prospects of marriage in the near future, this list goes on. But even more than that, I am thankful that we serve a God who we know is bigger than our messes, and maybe what looks like a mess to us, is a masterpiece to Him. Lets keep our hopes up Brianna 🙂
-Amy
I’d forgotten about that line from Letters to Juliet, but I love it! The more I write and observe and talk to people, I keep coming to that same conclusion…life is a mess! Mine (and maybe yours too, from the sounds of things?) is messier than I’d like it to be right now, but you’re so right–there is always reason to hope in a God much bigger than any mess.
Thanks for reading and for your kind words–I so appreciate it. You’ve mentioned that you have a blog–what’s the address? I’d love to read it!
Well the only blog I have right now is my Tumblr – and my writing on there is kind of sporadic (I save most of my writing for my emails to my sister and my fictional endeavors, yep, I wear the title of author a little more proudly than I wear the title of writer) – but I have been considering starting an actual blog where I can write like you do, so if I get brave enough to actually go through with it, I’ll be sure to let you know 🙂