Every year I want to start my “Top Posts” post with some line about how I can’t believe another year has gone by already–because it seems like they all go by so quickly. Which is a very cliche thing to say, but it doesn’t make it any less true.
I’m finding that years as a full-time working adult feel much different than ones when I was in school. It’s easy to count accomplishments when they come in the form of papers with a letter grade, tests with a percentage, classes by credits earned. Adult life doesn’t provide me such measurable benchmarks, meaning I have to look at things that are of value in a different way–in terms of life experience, lessons learned, new ways of thinking.
One of the beautiful parts of having a blog is that it provides a way for me to chronicle some of those things as they occur. Interestingly, as I looked at the top posts of this past year, many of them centered around singleness. Apparently not only is it a topic that I have a lot of thoughts and feels about personally, but others seem to as well. So, in no particular order, here are my top 7 posts of 2014.
Singleness, Desire, and Buying the Mixer
So this is not how I planned on getting a mixer. It’s not how I wanted to get my mixer.
Because it’s not just a mixer. It feels like a symbol of how my life is going differently than I had planned or hoped. It’s one of those little things that has slapped me in the face and reminded me that I’m single but would prefer not to be.
It’s irrational, I know, to be tying my purchase of a mixer to the fact that I am single. My relationship status should not be connected to a kitchen appliance.
Sometimes being a college graduate sucks, and it’s okay that you think it sucks. Feel what you feel. Maybe you thrive on the excitement of the unknown, or maybe uncertainty can leave you curled up in a ball, watching Netflix for hours on end. Neither of these feelings are inherently bad, they’re just different. It’s better to admit the way graduating is making you feel than try to act another way because you see someone else reacting differently. These are crazy times, and no two people will handle it in the exact same way.
5 Tips for Interacting with Single People at Holiday Parties
1) First, and perhaps most importantly, being single should not be seen as weird or unusual (even though it may be, particularly in some environments). This can be hard to believe, but it’s true: Single people roam among us. They are not mythical beings like unicorns, though they may be as awesome as unicorns. Being single is fine. Treat it as normal, because it is.
For the most part, right now, I have stopped reading my Bible.
It is a petty, passive aggressive way to handle what feels like God’s silence, and it is not the response I’d exactly recommend.
It is, however, my present truth.
As a single person, I find that church can sometimes be an isolating place. Many churches seem to be naturally oriented towards caring for families and married people, and although I don’t think any church would intentionally exclude single people, they may unintentionally do so.
As I sat there, it hit me: I am not disqualified.
Those messy thoughts and feelings and questions I have about God and following him do not disqualify me from serving him. They don’t disqualify me from hanging out with high school and middle schoolers, they don’t disqualify me from greeting people at church, they don’t disqualify me from being a Christian.
And here’s the thing:
YOU are not disqualified either.
The Enduring Fight of Singleness
One of the most difficult parts of being single is that I feel like I’m always fighting.
Fighting to be content.
Fighting to remember my life is now, not if or when I walk down the aisle.
Fighting to not compare.
Fighting to know there is meaning and purpose in this, the here and now.
Fighting to not be mad at God.
As a bonus post, this was also the year that my piece There Is More to Life Than Marriage was published at RELEVANT Magazine, so that’s kind of fun as well.
And to you, whether you’ve ready every post on this blog this year or this is your very first–thank you. I’m glad you’re here.
Til next time…
p.s. Do you have any favorite posts from 2014, either from my blog or somewhere else?
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