For the most part, right now, I have stopped reading my Bible.
It is a petty, passive aggressive way to handle what feels like God’s silence, and it is not the response I’d exactly recommend.
It is, however, my present truth.
This seems like one of the things I’m not supposed to say out loud, not supposed to admit to people, much less put out there on the Internet.
But I can’t help thinking I must not be the only one.
I can’t be the only one who, while still believing the words, has stopped reading them for a time.
Not because of some tragedy that’s left you staggering and doubting, but because a gentle weariness has set in, and it feels too much to keep repeating the same thing over and over when it seems that nothing changes.
Because even when you believe in the words, their meaning can go missing. Not lost in a broad sense, but misplaced, at least by you, at least for a time.
Eventually I’ll read those pages again, as I always seem to, but I am done beating myself up for setting them aside for a time. While giving up on reading my Bible entirely might be cause for alarm, I am not ready to admit that, by failing to regularly read my Bible for a stretch of time, I have fallen short in any way greater than I do each day as it is.
I’ll make my way back, just maybe not today.
Til next time…
p.s. Have you ever stopped reading the Bible?