I’m a people person.
A communicator, a people-gatherer.
Every personality test I take affirms these qualities about me, and I see it play out in my life in a myriad of ways.
On the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, my Extrovert number is usually towards the very top of the scale.
I like being a people person. I like connecting with people and helping connect them with others. I like to get to know people and like for them to get to know me.
There’s a dark side to this way I’m wired though, one I’m discovering more and more of: People are my drug.
I need people. On some level, we all do.
But when the people are not there, because they can’t be or don’t want to be, I can find myself clamoring and gasping and clawing for people in dangerous, unhealthy ways.
It’s an ugly little truth I’m uncovering.
When I don’t feel like my life is as “people-ful” as I would like to be, it’s easy for me to become needy. To see people as a tool to use to meet my own needs for connection and communication and companionship.
To miss the fact that they are people too.
I will always defend the idea and importance of community and relationships. But I can’t let my desire, my inner-wired need for these things, to drown out the fact that the people I am in community and relationship with have their own needs too. And sometimes what they need is not me, may not be people at all.
If I were a better Christian, this would be the part when I start waxing philosophical about how God is all I really need. But I’m not, so I won’t. As much as yes, I do need God, God has made me to need people too. Not in the way that I sometimes think I need them, as though they are a drug and I need my fix, but in that I need them because God often works through people to help me see him.
We’re all made to need people a little bit, just not in the way I sometimes do.
Til next time…
p.s. Have you ever found yourself needing people?