Tomorrow I start my first grown up full-time job, but I’m not starting it in the way I had planned.
Since Thursday, I’ve spent the majority of my time in bed or on the couch with assorted icky illness symptoms. It’s not how I like to spend any of my weekends (or days, hours, or minutes), but especially not before a rather monumental life change.
Maybe it was kind of a good thing though. Don’t get me wrong–if I could get those days back as healthy ones, I certainly would. I was rather miserable at times (borderline pathetic, really) and had a list of things to accomplish that not only didn’t get completed, it never even got made.
As the upside, I had very little time to fret over my anxieties about starting a new job. It’s not as though they completely disappeared, but they got shoved to a very small compartment of my brain that I had very little time or energy to mull over. Instead of, “What if everyone can tell this is my first time with a grown up job?” (*see side note), my thoughts became, “How long can I stay awake before taking another nap?” Instead of, “What if I ask a dumb question?” I thought, “Is it too much of an exaggeration to say I feel like I got run over by a Zamboni?” Instead of, “What should I wear on my first day?” I thought, “Do I have the energy to put on socks today?”
My thoughts became much more concentrated on the now, and much less concentrated on the a few days from now. Which is not a bad place for them to be all the time. Even as I anticipate the half day I’m going in for tomorrow (only a half day due to lingering illness), there’s nothing I can do about tomorrow afternoon or the rest of my first work week from right now. Maybe a small bit of planning and preparation, but that’s it. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
More accurately, God will make tomorrow take care of itself.
Funny how feeling like you got ran over by a Zamboni can put things in perspective.
Til next time…
p.s. Have you ever had an experience that, though unwelcome, helped put something in perspective for you? Will you share it?
*Side note: Which they probably will, and if they didn’t already, thanks to the magic of social media they might end up reading this someday–hey new coworkers!