Several hours we sat there, mere feet apart, enveloped in our own little words. She typed on her iPad, her iPhone sitting next to her, a stack of books on the chair. Our only interaction was a “Cute shoes!” she offered me as she got up to leave.
For an hour or so, she Skyped with an unseen, unheard party. Though she had headphones in, I heard every word of her side of the conversation (the tables at the Starbucks I frequent are placed quite close to each other). I don’t know the name of this Random Girl from Starbucks, but I know a lot about her.
I know she recently got married. She’s still in school, which I gathered both from the books on her table and from her conversation. Life is really good for her right now. She feels content, happy, and like God is telling her she’s right where she’s supposed to be right now.
I wanted to shove her off her stool.
Because my current reality is vastly different from hers.
It’s not her fault; she seemed like quite a nice person.
But her chatter of marriage, contentment, and joy in knowing she is where she’s supposed to be right now are in glaring contrast to my singleness, restlessness, and uncertainty.
I know I shouldn’t be comparing my life to the lives of others; but that is a continual lesson, one that I’ve been failing at rather miserably in the past couple weeks.
In the 6 months since I’ve graduated, and in the months leading up to that momentous occasion, I feel as though the boat I’m in has been rocked and swayed, and, in moments, nearly capsized. From what I’ve heard from other twenty-somethings, this is not an uncommon feeling; this turbulence, uncertainty, and searching for the calm. So to sit so near to someone who looked to be about my age, and hear of her good fortune and joy…it grated on whatever already-thin, often fleeting, sense of calm I may have had that day.
I did not shove this girl I’ve never formally met off her seat at Starbucks.
As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I chastised myself. “This is no way to respond to the blessing someone else is experiencing right now.”
Instead, I am working on viewing this as a reminder. I have no idea what that girl has gone through in life to get to the point she spoke of that day in Starbucks, but she is seeing this time as a gift from God. A time to rejoice and enjoy the things he has done in her life and the circumstances she has her in.
I may not be able to do exactly the same right now, but my time will come again.
Til next time…
Side note: I don’t make eavesdropping a frequent activity in my life, nor do I recommend it. However, in this instance, it was nearly unavoidable, seeing as she was sitting just feet away, and I actually got quite a lot of good thoughts out of the conversation. Not that that necessarily justifies it, I know.
p.s. Do you ever struggle with comparing your life to the lives of those around you? How have you learned to be content in your circumstances?