Facebook Envy

Today, my piece “Facebook Envy” went up over at Relevant Magazine.

If you clicked over from Relevant, first of all, thank you. For reading there, and for stopping by over here.

That being said, I want you to know…I wrote that piece more for myself than anyone else. I cannot tell you how many whiny, ranting, bitter drafts I wrote. Finally, I realized my writing cannot become a rant against other people simply because of my own insecurities. Only then, by writing of my own struggles, did the rest begin to follow.

Those suggestions I offer, particularly the one about finding my worth in God? I’m not there today, I won’t be there tomorrow, and I won’t be there a month from now. I’m not sure we ever completely “get there.”

So here’s to being a work in progress. To writing of messes and insecurity and uncertainty, and how God is in and through it all, even when I fail to see it. I’d love for you to join me.

Here’s a snippet from “Facebook Envy”:

“We’re often warned of Internet pitfalls: pornography, illegal downloading, addiction to video games or social networks, neglect of real-life relationships and more.

Yet there is another insidious Internet predator we don’t often talk about.

As I scroll through my Facebook news feed or Twitter home page, I’m bombarded with pictures, status updates and blog posts from my peers. Many people in their twenties, like me, are still figuring life out. They’re off on adventures, exploring the world and learning new things, figuring out love and friendships and what it looks like to follow God in this stage of their lives. As I browse their posts, I often find myself wishing I could be in their shoes, living their lives. Glamorous lives, it often seems.

In other words, the online realm sets up the danger of comparison.

Road trips. India. Beaches. Paris. Weddings. Mexico. Celebrities. Babies. New York City. Skydiving. Grad school.

My life currently includes none of those things, and it is all too easy for me to wish my circumstances could be otherwise.

In small doses, comparing our lives to others doesn’t seem so bad—it seems only natural to see and analyze what others our age are doing. At times, it may compel us to work harder to achieve what we desire, or provide perspective when we find our circumstances overwhelmingly bleak.”

Read the rest, over at Relevant?

Thanks, friends. =)

Til next time…


p.s. Is Facebook envy something you’ve struggled with? How do you deal with it? I’d love to hear from you–leave a comment here, or at the original post. You can also find me on Twitter.


4 thoughts on “Facebook Envy

  1. Your article was totally what I needed to read this morning. Perfect timing. I am also a college grad, single, living at home, working Monday through Friday as a receptionist in a very small office (very Pam Beesly-esque, minus Jim Halpert, haha), while my best friend is in her last year of college considering becoming a full time missionary to Mexico and then there are those who are married, the ones having kids, the ones getting engaged, the ones who are dating… Lets just say I could completely and wholeheartedly relate to the struggles you noted in your article. I know that our identity lies in Christ and not the things we do, but still, its a struggle sometimes. There are times when I feel lost and alone, oh so alone. This was such a nice reminder that I’m not alone, and that the plans God speaks of for good, are not just for me, but for you and all of us who are in this place in our lives where we sometimes feel forgotten. It is a comfort and an encouragement to know I am not alone and I am so happy your Relevant article led me to your blog- its already been such a blessing! Thank you for sharing your heart with the world. God has definitely given you the gift of expressing yourself through words. I look forward to reading more from you.

    -Amy, a small town girl with big dreams and a big heart for good writing, good music and God

    1. Thanks so much for sharing, Amy. It’s been so good to hear stories like yours of people who can relate to what I’ve been going through–such a great reminder that we really aren’t alone.

  2. (Posting here and the article but yeah…) That is a great article! Like others have said, I’m at similar place struggling with the same things. I also started a blog after graduating from college, though mine was born out of that painful comparison. I’m moving away from that now. I really like the focus of your blog.

    I’ve been dealing with Facebook envy by staying offline so I don’t see who’s online and feel bad that no one is interacting with me. I’m trying to post less and visit less. I like what you said about changing the focus, praying, spending time thinking about God. I’ve been doing a lot of reading, like Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist that really helps.

    1. Bittersweet was so encouraging to me as well. Another book that really got me thinking about how much envy is in my life is Glittering Vices, by Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung–definitely worth a read. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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