The List of Not Mourning

Most of my thoughts of late have been circling around the negative parts of my ever-nearing graduation. My fears and worries, difficulty with change, uncertainty about what the future holds, etc. and the like. All of those are very real, and hold a prominent place in my thought-life right now.

Yet I have been neglecting the joy that accompanies these changes. Because as much as I will miss many parts of college, there are ways in which I am ready, and even excited to move on. With no current plans for grad school, these are some things I will definitely not be mourning as I don my cap and gown.

No. More. Homework. HALLELUJAH! Don’t get me wrong–I genuinely love learning, and I will miss gaining knowledge from top-notch professors. But I will not miss the feeling of guilt that plagues college students, knowing that there is always more reading that could be done, papers to be worked on, and tests to study for. I will not miss the feeling of reading things that don’t really apply to the class, or doing worksheets simply so that the professor has some proof that we’ve thought about the topic outside the walls of the classroom.

As a commuter, I frequently leave the house with at least 3 bags hanging off my body, and oh man is it getting old. During the winter it was even worse–a bulky winter coat, glittens to keep my fingers from freezing off, a water bottle to keep me hydrated, a backpack for my laptop, binders, and books, a lunch bag for my food, and a purse for my wallet and keys…I often looked like I was going to be gone for a week, not just a day. Jobless me will rarely need anything more than a purse and maybe a lunch bag, and for that, I will rejoice.

I will not miss learning things that feel they don’t apply to my life. Supposedly every class we have to take will benefit us in some way, but it definitely did not always feel that way, and I will not miss waking up early for a class I found no practical application for.

Exams. Oh how I dislike those things. I’m a fairly decent student, but I HATE studying for exams–I’m terrible at it. In all my years of schooling I never found my most effective way of studying, so I always felt a bit aimless when studying, like I wasn’t do it the “right” way. I don’t think there’s a shred of me that will miss the stress of exam time.

Student body-wide emails. I understand (perhaps more than most) that communication is important, and that email is a seemingly easy way of reaching everyone at once…but many of the emails only apply to a limited portion of the student body, or are just sort of…annoying. I won’t miss those cluttering my inbox.

I’m sure there are many more things I will come to appreciate about being done with school. There will also be many things that I will miss, and although at this current moment that list would probably be longer than this one, this is the list that I need to focus on when my fears and worries begin speaking a bit too loudly. Because there is always some good, even amidst the unknown and terrifying.

Til next time…

~Brianna!~

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