Hugging the Cactus

Talking is my strong point.

Listening, on the other hand…isn’t always quite so strong.

Particularly when I don’t want to hear it.

Or, more specifically, when I don’t want to DO what I’m being told.

Throw God into the mix, and I’ve got a conundrum.

I don’t feel capable of doing some of the things he seems to want me to do. Of course, that may just be a scapegoat for the fact that I don’t WANT to. I’d much rather choose to pretend that I’m not getting what he’s throwing down, that I’m totally missing the point and lost in ignorance. (Ignorance is bliss, right?)

But when I’m nearly running into it, how can I pretend that I’m not seeing it?

Issues of the heart are much messier than those of a more physical nature. If I had a tumor, I’d go to the doctor and have it removed. But when the cause of the problem can’t be seen or touched, how do I begin to get rid of it? Cause even though I want to, there’s a piece of me that…doesn’t really. I’ve gotten used to it, and it seems much more difficult to let go of it than to keep holding on.

Makes tons of sense, I know.

But sometimes, I think the familiarity, even if it’s with something yucky, is more comforting than the unpredictability of the unknown. So we hug the cactus, instead of letting go in hopes of catching the bubble.

I guess that’s why Jesus didn’t say, “Follow me, it’ll be easy.”

Til next time…



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